Between a rock and a hard place


New member
8 June 2021
My 80 year old mum has vascular dementia. She lives with us. She recently had a fall and broke her hip. Following surgery a week ago she is yet to take any steps. We were led to believe we would be able to make decisions with the team. Yet today was told mum will be discharged home unable to walk with 4 care visits daily. She has made slow progress so rehab placement ruled out! I asked about toileting in between these visits and was told she will have to wear pads and wait for assistance. She will be bed or chair bound with community rehab for 6 weeks. I’ve said I cannot manage whilst working full time. That I cannot leave her due to her trying to get out of bed due to dementia. I was told they hadn’t witnessed her trying to get out of bed on the ward and she wasn’t confused. I explained her memory and sense of danger is impaired. They are assessing her for a discharge to access bed (placement in residential care for assessment) but she may not meet the criteria. Feel at a loss as they have said if she is refused I have to have her home! Any advice welcome.